Mommy Diaries of a Mother to Twin Girls

If you told me I would one day be a Mother of Twins, I would have never believed it. You see, it's quite silly but I always thought those things happened to Celebrities or people with really good Genetics, but definitely not me. I considered myself a very normal person- I thought having kids would come easy, maybe I would have 2-3 babies, have an awesome career. Basically I wanted it all.

I have always loved children from a very young age. You would always see me babysitting my neighbour's kids over the weekends or helping out when my little nephew was born. Being around children made me happy. It was a joy I could not express.

When I was a little older I would always complain of having sharp side pains during my time of the month but nothing a little painkiller didn't fix. Each time I saw the Doctor they claimed it was Menstrual Cramps and that it would go away in a few days. Years passed, I had the same issues except it got worse. Irregular cycles & Excess bleeds. I had terrible attendance at University because I just could not leave the house without fainting before I reach the front door.

In the summer of 2009, I was diagnosed with PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. The Doctor explained a bunch of things to me that started to make so much sense why I was suffering all these years. But the one thing that hurt the most was the probability of Infertility. I tried staying positive and started doing my own Research to understand more on the topic and how Lifestyle played a very important role.

Even after being careful with my Lifestyle I gained a lot of weight. Imagine yourself to be a skinny person your whole life. And then one day you wake up and don't see yourself in the mirror. It was like I was another person. I had excess bloating, acne, hair loss and so much more. Things got worse when I would get random old 'friends' sending messages to my Inbox on Facebook just body shaming me. People can be so closed minded sometimes. They think the only way a person can gain weight is probably because they ate a lot of Junk Food and never Exercised. Needless to say I'm not friends with that person anymore. I didn't need such discouragement from people I hardly ever saw anyways. I, on the other hand was working out 2 hours a day at the Gym and eating a low Carbohydrate high Protein diet. It hurt me all the time but I wanted to keep going. My husband supported me as much as he could. After almost a year I eventually lost the 10 kilos but still no baby.

Months passed and I suffered two miscarriages. I was heartbroken and defeated. I couldn't understand why this would happen to me. I loved children so dearly and all I wanted was a little miracle to call my own. After the third miscarriage, My Doctor wanted to start running further tests. I wanted to take a break so I told her I would wait and come back when I felt better.

In September of 2013, I woke up feeling different. Nothing had changed but I just felt different. While my husband was still asleep I quickly ran to take a Pregnancy Test. You see, After much disappointment, my Husband took all the Pregnancy Tests away because it was so upsetting- but little did he know I knew where he was hiding them! I took a test and immediately the two lines showed up! I ran to my Husband and broke the News to him! We were so very very happy!

During my First Trimester, I had a lot of Complications; I can't remember how many times I went for an ultrasound praying for my baby's heartbeat. Every time I would hear it, it would give me the biggest joy.

In the Fourth month of my Pregnancy, during one of my Routine Scans the Doctor looked very puzzled. She turned the screen to me saying ''Can you see those two heads?'' I wasn't thinking straight so I screamed ''Oh my God my Baby has two heads?!'' So she laughed and said ''No dear, But those are two babies- Its Twins! The second baby has been hiding all along!'' I left the Doctors office that day feeling so confused and perplexed. It was miracle I had conceived on my own to begin with, now I was going to be a mother to TWO kids?!

After that my Pregnancy pretty much went smoothly. I live in the Middle East so I flew to India at the end of my Second Trimester for my delivery. I was always hoping for a Normal delivery but as always my Doctor couldn't guarantee it. After much waiting, on 28^th April at 8:52 pm and 8:56 pm (4 minutes apart) we welcomed our Daughters Lillian and Nina into the world. My prayers were answered as I got to deliver them naturally and they were in my arms moments after they were born. The first thing I said to them was, 'You have no idea how long I've waited to hold you & trust me I had waited years!'

When my daughters were 3 weeks old, my husband's annual leave ended and we flew with our babies back home. It was just me and my girls. Like all newborns, they didn't sleep at night keeping us awake. If Lillian fell asleep, Nina would wake up 5 minutes later waking her up. They needed everything to be done together; they were inseparable from day one! In the day I would struggle to multi-task Diaper Changes and Breastfeeding. Like every new mom I would question and re- question every move I made baby related. I would sometimes laugh at myself seeing how I would forget to do simple things just because I was preoccupied with the babies. Some days I would cry with Post Partum depression and my Husband would support me in those tough times. It truly was a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs right from the start.

My Girls are 15 months today and are truly our Pride and Joy! While taking a break from my Career and raising them may have been the hardest thing to do- These little ones make it Oh-So-Worth It!

Managing them single handed is always and still is- a task. From day one I would try as much to stay organized and keep track of their routine. The next day I would follow the similar pattern and things would go smoothly. I know most people say handling kids alone is very hard, but I always say as a mother you can do anything for your child. And it's always true to fact. It may be very tough but it's possible. While I don't get a lot of time to do much for myself these days, like my other friends I don't get the luxury to have my Nails done at the Salon or an occasional Shopping weekend, I do remind myself everyday that I really am doing the best for my kids and it will get easier one day. There are some rough days- I won't lie, but the journey to bring them into the world makes me confident knowing that anything is possible.

We as mothers get it rough. We are the first to wake up every morning and last to go to bed. Yet, we do it with such ease and poise- We make it look like it's as easy as pie! We should give ourselves more credit! We have already been promoted to the title of Super Mom!

To Women everywhere struggling with Infertility, Weight Gain, Pregnancy or Motherhood - Know that you're not alone; you're already doing your best. You are already doing what's right for you and your health! Trust your Instincts! Spend plenty of time with your Family! Because really at the end of the day, Family is everything!

- Linda Menezes-D'Silva